


Dear Future Husband

by tomato_toastie



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Promises, Sad and Sweet, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 20:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30111339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomato_toastie/pseuds/tomato_toastie
Summary: In which Mary delivers a very important missive to Anthony.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield
Comments: 23
Kudos: 114





	Dear Future Husband

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I took some liberties with the some of the names that are not in canon (to my limited knowledge). Enjoy :)

Bridgerton House was virtually unrecognisable to the viscount upon his return to London from Kent a few days prior. Decorations have taken over the main hall, while an invasion of flowers and miscellaneous foodstuffs have only just arrived on the day prior to the wedding. The main hall and drawing room were teaming with people and things that one could get lost in all the clutter and chaos. 

His sisters seem to have been possessed by the same entity that grants indefatigable energy to their mother. As Violet spends most of her waking hours bombarding his intended with all matter of sundry befitting the position she is acquiring, her daughters have been going about town preparing for the actual event. An outsider looking in, even one in opulence, would feel faint at the fortune being thrown about by the Bridgertons this past week. The Sheffields felt it might be best to turn a blind eye at the finances after hearing the total amount spent at the flower market in London that almost made them expire from shock. The Bridgerton girls thought it best to not mention that those were but a mere quarter of the amount and that most of the flowers are to be delivered from Kent after seeing the colour drain from Mary Sheffield's face. 

Edwina laughed and asked Eloise on one of their excursions if this is how it was when Daphne was wed. Eloise replied that it was similar but they were much more organized this time, as their mother had planned every little thing before they even left for London from Aubrey Hall. Edwina then jokingly asked why they were making such a fuss, to which the four Bridgerton sisters stared at her and said, 

"We are getting a sister! It is a great cause for celebration!" 

Edwina could only smile at their exuberance and linked arms with her soon-to-be sister-in-laws. 

On the other side of town, Violet Bridgerton has been gleefully spending a small fortune on Kate, to her dismay. He had warned his mother to not overwhelm his intended too much with her purchasing powers, in which his mother scoffed in dismissal. The night after his meeting with Kate, he even mentioned that Kate asked him to politely ask his mother to cease wasting money on her, to which he received snorting laughter from his siblings at such an impossible task. He chose to overlook the determined gleam in his mother's eyes.

Unbeknownst to Kate, his mother returns home after such excursions with her future daughter-in-law to tend to the wedding details. And after supper each night since the announcement of the betrothal, she is seen focused on her embroidery. What they had thought to be a relaxing activity for their mother before bed, revealed the fruits of her labour the day before yesterday, as she leaped from her seat and smiled a triumphant smile at her daughters, showing off beautiful rows upon rows of delicate tulips that she declares will adorn Kate's wedding dress. In which her daughters promptly took the embroidery away and forced her to bed. 

The Bridgerton men, however, were relegated to chaperoning duties and to making sure that the ladies were periodically nourished with tea and biscuits between bouts of shopping and organising. For the past few days, they have seeked refuge at White's, in turns, to escape the chaos but decided to retreat to the study on the eve of the wedding to keep a close eye on things. One would get exhausted just by watching their mother and sisters rush about as they do. Their excitement is contagious and Anthony will be forever grateful for their exuberance in welcoming Kate into their family. 

Sometime after four, a few sharp raps on the door of the study captured the attention of its occupants. Anthony allowed access and the footman entered, announcing that a Mrs Sheffield is in their hall and would like a brief audience with Lord Bridgerton. Anthony got up from his chair with an immense sense of curiosity. Mrs Sheffield could only be Mary, Kate's stepmother. 

He spotted her immediately, standing among the many flower arrangements adorning their main hall. Anthony made only one stipulation to his mother concerning his wedding ceremony. 

That stipulation being that flowers will be featured in some way as he expressed Kate's love for flowers to her. His mother was all too happy to oblige as she smiled and stroke his cheek fondly when he made his request. 

Mary's attention was directed immediately to the sound of heavy boots on polished floors. She starts to fidget with an object in her hands nervously as he greets her with a smile, in which she returns. "Good evening Lord Bridgerton. Thank you for sparing some time to meet me for I am sure there are a million other things to occupy your time." she says with a slight bow of her head. 

"Not at all, it is of no inconvenience. And please, just Anthony is fine." he responds softly. "May I offer you some refreshments?" 

"Thank you for your gracious offer but I shall not be long." she answers cryptically. 

She then starts to fidget with the item in her hands again which he identifies as a well worn hardback copy of Don Quixote. He holds his breath in anticipation as she unravels the yellowing pages to reveal an envelope tucked within. She stares at the envelope for a moment with a wistful smile, turns it over and strokes the blood red wax lovingly with her fingers. Then she plucks it from its resting place and reaches out to extend the envelope to him. 

For a moment, the envelope seems to hover between them until Anthony breaks the trance the both of them are in with a shake of his head. He knows exactly what the contents of the envelope are. "Kate had informed me that she did not have a dowry."

Mary was quite surprised at this but a moment later she knew she should not have been. He seemed like the type man who would be on top of things. 

In her momentary lapse he continued softly, "Regardless, I humbly decline. Please do with it as you wish, you have my permission." He smiled at her in reassurance. It did not surprise him that Kate is unaware of her dowry and that Mary has been keeping it safe for her all these years. 

Mary laughed a little and looked upon the man that will be marrying Kate tomorrow. Sweet is not one of the words ever used to describe him, but she is sure it is something he hides well and shows only to the worthy. 

"That is very kind of you Anthony, but Kate speaks the truth of her lack of dowry. This is far more precious though. Well, in my humble opinion at least." she chimed as she proffers the envelope again.

Intrigued, Anthony takes the envelope from Mary and starts to turn it over in his hands. There was nothing written on it and only a blood red wax seal adorns the back. He raised his eyes back towards Mary after his thorough investigation, seeking an explanation. 

As the letter exchanged hands, she felt a great sense of relief wash over her. As if a heavy burden that she was previously unaware of, was lifted from her shoulders. In a way it was always there since it has been thrusted in her care. She felt lighter now at one of her sacred duties fulfilled, another one was tucked away in the same book. She hopes that that letter too will be released to its owner soon. 

"Oh, Mary! What a marvellous surprise. Please, join us for tea, I insist." says a booming voice from the staircase to her right, breaking the pregnant silence in the hall. Violet Bridgerton finished descending the staircase to reach the duo. 

"Thank you for the invitation Violet but I really must be off. Maybe next week after the wedding?" 

"I will hold you to it. Are you quite sure?" Violet asks. 

"Yes, I really must be heading back, my absence at tea will be noted by my daughters." Mary answers with an apologetic smile. 

Violet returned her smile and the two matrons walked together to the door after Mary bid farewell to Anthony with a small nod. They idly chatted as they went, while Anthony stood transfixed in the hall alone. He kept turning the envelope in his hands until he felt the not so gentle smack on his back. 

"I thought you said Kate did not have a dowry?" Benedict inquired, pointedly staring at the envelope in his brother's hands.

"She does not." he answers back, tucking the envelope into his breast pocket, careful to not cause any damage to it. The three eldest Bridgertons then went up to one of the vacant drawing rooms for tea with their younger siblings. 

🌷

After putting the youngest two to bed, which is no small feat with them practically vibrating with excitement, he retires to his study for some much needed solitude. His mother insisted that he stay in Bridgerton House tonight to be rid of the fuss of travel. 

Tomorrow, life as he knew it would never be the same. Well, in truth, his life has already taken an unexpected path since that fateful day at Aubrey Hall. 

Thoughts of Kate reminded him of the envelope tucked in his breast pocket. He pulls it out of its hiding place and begins to turn it in his hands. There is a reluctance in him that he could not fathom. What harm could the contents of an envelope be to him to arise such hesitancy? 

"Anthony? Is everything alright?" 

He hears her before she makes her physical presence known. Violet tentatively enters his study and regards his serious demeanour sitting in the wingback chair facing the fireplace. 

"Yes mother, all is well." he replies nonchalantly, "Go on up to bed, I will be retiring shortly." He offers a small smile, as to not worry her. 

She noticed something amiss with her son since Mary came over and handed him a sealed envelope. He was clearly distracted all throughout dinner that even his siblings noticed something was wrong. She looked at her eldest son, the son that reminded her the most of her beloved husband, and smiled softly back at him. Whatever that is bothering him, she is sure he will be able to fix it. 

"Very well, love. Do not be too long, you would not want to miss Kate tomorrow." She came closer and saw him holding the envelope in his hands. She ignores it, lays a soft kiss on his head and leaves his study for bed. 

Anthony turned the envelope and studied the design on the blood red wax seal. It was an image of a poppy flower entwined around a sword, but there are no initials. He fills his lungs to capacity and carefully breaks the seal. 

Inside he finds a folded piece of paper which he carefully unravels to find a neat, handwritten letter. It puzzles him for a moment as to why Mary would hand him a letter that is clearly written not by her hand, as he has become familiar with her penmanship of late. He steels himself, sitting straight in his wingback chair and begins to read.

> _Dearest sir,_
> 
> _If this letter is in your possession, a few tragedies have come to pass. I have departed this life to join Kate's mother, leaving my daughter in my wife's capable hands, and am unable to attend my beloved daughter's wedding._
> 
> _This letter is written in what I fear to be my death bed and although such musings are quite macabre for a man whose doctors say is steadily heading for a miraculous recovery, I am moved to pen my thoughts to you. Mostly in remembrance of the suddenness of Kate's mother's death and the reminder of the fragility of mortal life._
> 
> _Take this letter as you will but I imagine these are the words that I would impart upon you in our final meeting before you are to be the bridegroom of my daughter._
> 
> _From the moment of her birth, Katharine Grace Sheffield has been the apple of our eyes, the most precious being to have graced the earth. Her mother and I looked upon our beautiful princess in wonderment that we would be blessed with such perfection. She squirmed and wiggled that first day and continues to not still for as long as she wakes._
> 
> _Kate was very much attached to her mother and with that comes the love of the outdoors. More often than not, one would find little Kate climbing trees and burrowing under logs, hair windswept and face sun-kissed. I often joke that that is what one gets for marrying a woodland faery, in which her mother would reply that I had paid my dues for drawing her away from her forest dwelling by gifting her a forest sprite to raise._
> 
> _She is the gentlest of children, our daughter, blessed with a big and generous heart. She would bring light and glee to even the darkest corners, and would lend her hand to any and all who require her aid._
> 
> _When we lost her mother, the light in her dimmed. She stayed mostly indoors, which in and of itself is an indication that something is amiss, even if she does not lend a voice to her plight. I feared that my daughter would be lost to grief as I was, both of us sinking deeper and deeper with each passing day. If you are in possession of both your parents, then rejoice for I will as well, for it settles my mind that Kate will have a father and an extra mother to replace hers that have passed._
> 
> _Of some stroke of luck or Godsend, Mary entered our lives and brought with her the motherly love and affection to bring the light back into little Kate. The changes that come were instantaneous, and Kate found space in her heart to love Mary as unconditionally as she is loved in return._
> 
> _When we were blessed with the birth of Edwina, Kate stood by the crib in wonderment of her calm infant sister, and her face bloomed with warmth and happiness. She then made a solemn promise to myself and my wife that she will take care of and protect her sister to her dying breath._
> 
> _I was fortunate enough to have been her 'papa' for all these years and would not change a second of it. She has grown to be a beautiful young lady, both inside and out, loving, selfless and brave. She is all that my late wife could ever hope for her to be and, I am sure, would glow with pride at the woman our daughter has become._
> 
> _I know the words of a dead man carry no threat to the living but I issue my warnings to you regardless. You, a man who will be in possession of daughters to my daughter one fine day._
> 
> _She is a gentle soul, so I implore you to not cause it any harm. For even if a tear were to fall from my precious child's eyes due to you, hope and pray that she is forgiving and the wound in her heart to heal swiftly._
> 
> _Love her, if you can, with the whole of your heart, for I know she will in return. I could not foretell the circumstances of your union, but I assume, for my peace of mind, that nothing but love unites you with my daughter._
> 
> _Nevertheless if you, regrettably, do not love her, I implore you at least to treat her with kindness. Make her feel loved and cherished as all wives should feel by their husbands. Even if your affections for her do not come as easily, kindly remember that you are nurturing something so precious and pure._
> 
> _Her heart._
> 
> _On behalf of myself and my late wife, we truly feel a great sense of regret that our time does not extend to see her as a bride. Regardless, we hope for all the happiness and bliss that life has to offer to be showered upon you and your union, your children and childrens' children._
> 
> _We wish you Godspeed and know that although we shall never lay eyes, please be reminded that from the bottom of our hearts, we truly, deeply love you, son._
> 
> _Forever yours,_
> 
> _Alexander Miles Sheffield & Charlotte Grace Sheffield. _

Anthony re-read the letter. Then again and again. Each time, the words become harder and harder to read, until he realizes that tears are the cause of his muddled vision. He hoped that the words would change somehow, that he had misread them or that there was a flaw in his comprehension, but they remain steadfast. Barb upon barbs, blows upon blows to his heart. 

In anger and frustration, he tosses the letter to the floor and a quarter of a second later realizes what he had done and frantically searches for the precious artifact. A puff of wind had blown through at that exact moment and the letter landed in the hearth. He rushed on all-fours, saving the letter from being devoured by the flames, not even registering the heat burning his hands. He beat the flames licking at the edges, in hopes that not a single word was lost to the fire. 

Not that it matters, as he had every single word now etched permanently in his mind forevermore. 

He sat then, Viscount Bridgerton, on the floor of his study the night before he was to be wed, and cradled the letter to his chest. He was on his knees, feverently begging for forgiveness from Kate's father and mother for his limitations at not being able to fulfil their simple but heavy requests. 

For trapping their daughter into marriage due to his own weakness and fears. 

For cursing her with more death than any one person should endure in one lifetime. She buried both her parents and in due time she will lay her husband in the ground as well. 

For his inability to love her with every fibre of his being and the surety that he will cause her pain by leaving her. 

In a way he wanted them there. To yell at him, admonish him. Make their displeasure at such a subpar match be heard. Somehow stop the proceedings with a bolt of lightning, seeing as how unworthy of a man he is for their beloved daughter. 

His chest started to cave and he had to regulate his breathing to keep from passing out. The pain was so acute that he was almost sure that he was going to die. He has not felt such pain, not since the discovery of his own father's death.

On top of the ache in his chest, he feels then a heavy load landing on his shoulders. Simon had joked earlier that, as he had felt the burden of his responsibilities in close proximity to one another, the burden of taking a wife was much heavier than the burden of a title. Anthony, not believing anything could be heavier than that meeting he had with the solicitor after his father's death, just snorted in disbelief at his friend. Now he felt it tenfold, to the point that he physically slumped over at the responsibilities he now carries from the words in the letter. 

And in this, unlike his father's lofty expectations of him that he is barely able to fulfil, he knows for an undeniable fact that he will fail Kate's parents and their disappointment in him is almost palpable. 

🌷

Sometime during the night, he must have made his way to bed because he woke before the sun on the day of his wedding. Anthony got out of bed and started getting dressed with the help of his valet. As he stared at his reflection, he made a solemn vow to answer his in-law's requests. 

In lieu of a father-in-law to dote on his wife to be, he will gift her his siblings. More brothers and sisters than she could possibly handle, with the addition of their future brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws. To protect her, care for her and shower her with love. 

In lieu of unconditional love in which he is unable to provide as a husband, he will gift her as many sons and daughters as she is willing to carry. Enough so that her heart may be swiftly healed after his passing. For who could offer unconditional love as well as children? 

He could at least fulfil one request, that he will care for her and nurture her heart with kindness for as long as he may live. He also promises that he will care for Mary and Edwina as he would his own flesh and blood.

Even though it is only but a small part of the letter, it is all he could do with his vast shortcomings. He stares at his reflection again, as all the words play around in his head. He, again, apologises to Kate's parents for cursing their child by marrying her. 

As he makes these sincere vows in his head, his heart starts to calm. Everytime the words of the letter come to the forefront of his mind, he would apologise and repeat the vows he made in his head. He feels that this will be a normal occurrence in his life moving forward. 

He soldiered through breakfast, the ceremony and even the reception. 

They were here with them, her parents, even if only to haunt him through echoes of words in a letter. 

The only time he was fully aware of his surroundings is when the bishop starts the ceremony and he feels her standing beside him. Deep breaths are taken to regulate his pounding heart as blood rushes in his ears, almost deafening. 

They exchanged rings and he really took her in fully for the first time. His heart stops at the sight of her beauty and feels it lighten a little at his good fortune. She offers him a tentative smile for which he returns and with that, they are husband and wife in the eyes of God and man. 

The reception was a blur and after the mandatory first dance, he released her to mingle with their family and guests. He did not want to crowd her, or worse, infect her with his melancholy musings. He watched her dance with his brothers in turn, smiling and laughing with unrestrainable joy on her face. 

She is brave and strong, and she will be taken care of and loved after he leaves. He is sure of it. He, his family and her family will make sure of it. 

As they bid their farewells and embark on the carriage, he starts to calm a little more. They will be fine. Kate will be fine and all will be well, he thought with conviction. Whom he was trying to convince, whether himself or Kate's parents, he did not know. 

Kate's query draws him out of his thoughts and he decides to block his ruminations out to muse over for a later day. He had vows to keep and he will see them through till his dying breath. He did not need to love her, or her him, to ensure her happiness. And now, her happiness relied on his undivided attention. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry for the angst, please take a cookie 🍪 and thanks for reading ❤️


End file.
